Day Five: Thursday

• Woke up from bad dream in which my former boyfriend and I went on holiday to Wellington but he didn't mention that his new girlfriend was coming and he kicked me out of the house so that they could have sex (there were no doors in the house). I kept crying and saying "but I'm so much hotter than you". My friends said that I could hang out with them instead. They were in a library where everything had fallen off the shelves and needed to be put back.
• Tried to go for a semi-professional/academic look because I always run into people on Thursdays.
• My new Blythe doll case had come in the mail from Hamilton.
• Some guys with backwards hats did a look at me in their low to the ground car so I gave them a pissed off look back.
• Went to university on 224 bus which was already there when I came around the corner.
• On the bus several people were standing up and several people were leaning/leering over free seats.
• Tried to meet Vince at the Thursday hot dog line but his phone was broken. Had to call him. Did a lean in case anyone I knew was secretly looking at me from the library.
• Went to Munchy Mart and bought a mince and cheese Irvines pie and phone credit.
• Ate pie and Vince's vegetable chips in Albert Park.
• There was a large group of people doing a sausage sizzle under a Maori flag.
• Sat near some people who said "fuck no" a lot and then laughed and wore sunglasses.
• Some people waved at us but we didn't know who they were because they'd had haircuts/one was lying down.
• Vince had to go to his lab.
• Ran into Tim buying a Jarvis Cocker t-shirt from the Thursday t-shirt stand.
• His dad called him to make sure he cleared the mailbox.
• Hung around at the Thursday book stall. Said lots of things about books.
• Went and leant on some poles by the library/road.
• Tim kept looking at black cars so I assumed he'd sneaky texted his new girlfriend to come and pick him up but he didn't say so.
• A black car pulled up.
• It was somebody I knew from Unitec. 
• We talked about how bad Unitec is.
• I complained to Tim about how I might have to do an extra semester.
• He suggested spending the next five years watching Alex study in the library, "you will be watching him, watching the words".
• I had little interest in this plan.
• Tim said at the end of the five years I could draw a very accurate picture of his face.
• His new girlfriend came and picked him up.
• I went to the library.
• I circled around for a long time looking for a free desk next to a window.
• I listened to Grimes and did two readings and worksheets.
• The first one was about the Columbian Exhange of the 1520s-1550s (syphilis & coffee)
• The second one was about the Scientific Revolution (Copernicus/Galileo/Newton)
• I went to my tutorial.
• I am one of the very very limited amount of people in my tutorial who is not Over 50/From a private school/Has been to a place that sounds like Salzburg but is not in Austria or spent an extended period of time in Barcelona
• The tutor listed the natural elements as being air, wind, fire and earth.
• I tried to call Vince because we normally meet at 5 o'clock on Thursdays but his phone had gone flat.
• Caught the bus home.
• Burned my fingers making muffins to get in free to the gig tomorrow night.
• Some mystery person downloaded all my tracks off Sound Cloud.
• Talked to Isabelle re: having to become a teacher at MAGS.
• Ate some really disgusting peanuts that my mum bought me because I ate all these peanuts to be polite at her friend's house one time.

Day Four: Wednesday

• On Wednesdays I start university at four pm so not a lot happened, to say the least.
• I allowed four and a half hours to do my assignment and it took me one hour and ten minutes.
• When I was on the bus I was glaring at people out the window because I was feeling lonely.
• One of the people I glared at for being fancy and having a leather case and walking along with a tall boy was my best friend, Isabelle.
• The tall boy was her flatmate who she introduces me to every time we see each other and he says, "We've met.", and I nod and smile.
•  I got overexcited about trying to find my phone (which had turned itself off) to text her and forgot to press the bus stop please now button.
• The bus did not stop again until midtown.
• I bought some chicken nuggets because they are still half price at McDonald's right now.
• I saw three different people buying soft serve cones.
• A homeless man said something mean about my nails but I was listening to Grimes and trying not to do a dance.
• I was wearing my Christmas 2010 dress.
• I went to my German 201 lecture.
• Somebody left two spaces between me and them so it was awkward because that's where the late people ended up having to sit.
• I only like to sit by the wall.
• I like to look out the window a lot.
• We looked at an advertisement of Daniel Carter and the lecturer asked us what the word for lower leg is.
• One guy said, "Shinbeine?"
• The lecturer thought he said, "schöne Beine" (beautiful legs).
• She agreed with him.
• During the break somebody dropped their pad on the floor and it was also awkward.
• There is a girl who's very noisy and tells a lot of "funny" stories.
• There is a girl who is into "Metalmusik" and didn't laugh at my jokes when we got paired up.
• Two people did a presentation and one girl found it really difficult and it made me feel uncomfortable.
• We found out the test is not going to be for ages because it was supposed to be next Friday (Good Friday), and then was rescheduled for the first Wednesday back after the break (ANZAC Day).
• Everyone said, "Hooray!" 
• (Or something similar)
• An awkward thing happened where we had to stand up and do relaxation exercises from the textbook.
• I got the impression that the girl who loves metal was trying to do a thing with the guy who I've decided looks like a tennis player even though he said that he spielt Fußball.
• She was doing a look and stuff.
• There is also a girl who I sometimes talk to but she looks like she's from an Enid Blyton book and she has the accent for it and everything and she makes me feel like a dirty old hag.
• She teaches ballet to small children and has a little crucifix necklace and a variety of knee length skirts and blouses and volunteered to do the presentation first.
• When the lecturer asked who wants to do the presentation next week I put my head against the wall and looked out the window.
• I frowned at the lampost that is on the University website when the server is down.
• The girl next to me got her assignment back and did a sneaky look at the last page so no-one else could see her mark.
• I got 89 and was annoyed with myself because you needed a 90 for an A+.
• The class finishes at six so my mum picks me up on the way home from work.
• I wanted to sing along to my iPod but my mum had a really long story to tell about a teacher aide that she doesn't like and also that she told someone at her work that I will tutor her daughter in Year 11 English.
• We went to Countdown in St Lukes.
• I got a package of smoked tarakihi, some pastrami, some baps and some toothpaste.
• Also some biscuits. I don't normally like biscuits.
• When we got home my mum asked me if I was just going to eat butter on my baps which I thought was peculiar because I can honestly say that for all I can remember of my life I have never eaten any kind of bread roll without Marmite on it.
• Tim had sent me a request to like his fan page on Facebook.
• I didn't like it but I posted a bad screenshot of him wearing sunglasses inside on Skype.
• He asked me for my Sound Cloud username so I could listen to a "secret" track.
• He went offline for three hours.
• He was interested in having me make a video for said track.
• It was a really hard one, I said maybe something like an 80s sitcom opening credits or something about a corrupt mayor.
• This made me feel like I should finish the song I have been working on for one hundred years (about three or four weeks).
• I finished it at about 3am and I was really tired so I posted it on Facebook, knowing that no-one would like it and I would be sad.
• Four people liked it in the end so that was okay.
• I don't have a picture from yesterday but here is a picture of me recording under a sheet wearing my Peter Alexander nightdress that I got from Savemart Manukau in the kind of evening wear section (not actually pictured but I remember that I was wearing it).

 

Day Three: Tuesday

• On Tuesdays I can't be bothered going to university because I only have one fifty minute class.
• That class is European Studies 100 and I only take it because it's compulsory for all European language majors.
• The reasons I don't like the lectures are because I have the same lecturer for Russian and he is American and talks to himself a lot and I'm really bad at Russian so it makes me feel bad.
• Also, there are 297 people in the paper which is tooooo many for one room and you can't find a seat and I worry that the lecture seats will all tip over onto each other.
• One of the things I really, really don't like about the University of Auckland is that the classes are in the Wrong Buildings.
• I have Russian in the law school and science basement, Euro in Physics Lecture Theatre 1 and the science basement and I have German in Commerce A and the sociology floor of the Human Sciences Building.
• I didn't get out of bed until Joe knocked on my door after school had finished for the sleeping bag for his marae trip.
• We ate ready salted thick cut chips and sour cream and cabin bread.
• Joe said that the marae was supposed to put on a hangi for them but now they didn't want to so they were all being given $10 to paint the town red (Te Awamutu).
• We watched the end of Four Weddings USA (one of my personal favourite programmes) but the episode of Biggest Loser Australia that was on was one that I'd seen online already.
• Joe told me a weird story about a sneaky thing our friend had done/told a small lie about.
• He also told me a story about how he'd tripped over and some junior girls had laughed at him but he'd done a face so it was okay.
• My mum came home and was really grumpy and said that there was nothing for dinner.
• We found a good deal for KFC but first we had to watch Shortland Street.
• Joe's favourite character is Maxwell.
• I like Gabrielle and Bella.
• We went to Pt Chev KFC.
• Joe and I sat in the car and I talked about how in my German assignment we had to write what we'd done for love but I could only think of things I'd done like, Spent all my money on biscuits, Walked way out of my way and Pretended my bus went from uptown too.
• Joe said he'd done a thing that should not have been done in public in a car with people walking past but the car had tinted windows so they couldn't see in.
• We wondered which of our friends was into doing weird sex stuff.
• We decided probably all of them.
• We ate the KFC next to the Western Springs rugby field where a lot of big guys were practicing rugby.
• It was a pretty good deal, we got two fillet burger combos and two pieces of chicken for $14.50.
• My mum got a raspberry Krusher because she can't eat chicken.
• A dog looked at us.
• We dropped Joe off at his house.
• On the way home Andrew Tidball was on Bfm and he talked about The Tokey Tones gig on Sunday.
• I said "I was there".
• I don't remember much of what I did after that but I think I read people's Twitters. I don't have a Twitter. Reading the Twitters made me feel weird because of all the people who are proper grown ups and have kids and stuff now.
• I probably wrote.
• I think I wrote that the difference between having a crush on someone as a teenager and as an adult is that when you're an adult something always ends up happening about it because you drive into town and go to people's houses all the time.
• That's what my character said, anyway, I don't think that's what I'd say.
• I think I'm okay at writing as a character and not as myself.

This is a photo of me from when Vince was going to send me something secret on Facebook but he said I had to prove it was me first, by sending him a photo proving what time it was and with a shoe on my head.

Day Two: Monday

• Went to sleep 6.30 am (bad move)
• Woke up 7.15 am to a text from Joe, "mate can i borrow a sleeping bad so that i may slumber in the halls of thy ancestors?"
• Woke up 1.10 pm, one hour after the beginning of my only lecture
• I remember the weird thing I posted on Facebook at 3am
• Went to The University of Auckland on the bus (224)
• Circled around fifth and sixth floor of the library looking for a seat
• Missed my specific place in the Victoria University of Wellington library, next to the obscure dictionaries
• Everyone was especially silent
• Tried to open a window without making any noise (failed)
• Spent two and a half hours on the Russian genitive case assignment, worth 1/8/10/30%
• 4.40 pm did a fast paced walk across the road to Kate Edger Commons bottom floor to print out cover sheet/attempt at looking up Vladimir Putin's middle name in Cyrillic on Wikipedia
• Printer said I did not have enough funds to complete print job
• Money-on-card machine broken
• Ran up to the top floor to look for another machine/couldn't find one
• 4.47 pm went to IC Helpdesk, put money on card, ran back down to the ground floor
• Printed out cover sheet, attempted to fill in while running across the street to Arts 1 to hand in area
• Everyone in Arts 1 has gone home early. No-one is on the desk. I do not get my date stamp.
• Blind man with large eye patch and long grey hair enters
• Walks into automatic door
• Hits me with his cane
• I ask where he is trying to go
• He says Room 304
• I note that it is locked and no-one is in there
• He says "This is just not my day."
• I apologise and he walks into the elevator door
• I meet Vince
• We make poor Burger King related decision
• The Burger King music television shows a 50s style boy band cover of Katy Perry's "Hot n Cold"
• Vince tells me that I'm going to have to get better at pretending to eat disgusting burgers if I want boys to like me
• We catch the train home
• We talk about if my life were a sitcom would people complain about me having a made up ethnicity to get funding/would we get arrested for so much music copyright infringement
• We make lists of necessary equipment for 48 Hours
• I walk past Ryan's dad's house
• Ryan's dad is checking the mail
• He says, "Hello, I'm John, Ryan's dad."
• I say, "Oh, yes, I know."
• I go home
• On Facebook Joe tells me that on Saturday night he was really mean to some girls and they liked it.
• I say, "I went to that gig, then I went to a party, then I went to Wendy's with Alex, then I went home."
• He says, "Did he dong you?"
• I say, "No."
• I realise that the Vivid on my arm says 420 in Roman numerals

(This is reversed)

Day One: Sunday

• Woke up 1pm to text from Joe: "woman on bus trying to explain embarrassing bodies to her mate. "it's this show called like my disgusting body... people go on it and are like 'i've got cancer in my bumhole' ... 'i've got a really fatty armpit' "

• It was sunny
• Got pushed over by one million thrifty ladies, largely elderly and of Indian descent, at ASB Showgrounds cosmetic sale
• Tried to go to new frozen yoghurt shop : no carparks
• Ate KFC Original Fillet Burger Combo w/Mountain Dew + chocolate mousse
• Went to The Wine Cellar
• Did not take dating advice from people already in a relationship ("Just say 'I like you, do you want to go on a date'/'Hello, would you like to go outside and talk'"), decided to stick with "do a face, then wait a month" and "1/3rd weird, 2/3rds playin' it cool" (NB: this has never worked)
• Got the eye from someone I think is a teacher and also knows my address via mailing list
• Played it cool
• Saw The Tokey Tones/"Porch Singers"
• Bought a green can of Sprite, a can of "Godfather" imported beer and a packet of chicken chips
• Man in store laughed at my ID
• Went to Isabelle's house
• Gave her some Like and Dislike self-inking stamps with thumbs up/down
• Proofread some political textbook review essays
• Caught a taxi home, 1am (taxi driver had one eye, called Iqbal)
• Did a weird Facebook birthday post
• Wore this outfit to disguise that I was 5-20 years younger than everyone else: